Still, it is difficult to do anything without Internet connection.

Also, I have sent the biggest amount of money I have ever laid my hands on. When I told my parents they were shocked. There was even a time when I commuted with huge sums. But I try to desensitize myself from it. This isn't something to be feared of, but thanked for.

Also, HOPE is coming up and so is HYBRID. I am part of the training team and the head of profiling our participants in Hope. And I am to raise money for Hybrid. Raising money is so unnatural. I fear every phone call I make and use delaying tactics even though I know I shouldn't. What I realized is that I haven't prayed for my heart to join, and that's what I'm missing.

Last night my parents fought, and out of frustration I said, "If it is going to be like this everyday, I don't want to live here anymore." I've been complaining a lot -- not having Internet access, privacy, my own room, a cabinet, my own electric fan (although there is aircon that turns off while we sleep) and... social life? Haha. I try to tell myself to stop feeling like a victim, though I can't deny that there are times I tell myself I'm doing this for someone else.

I hope when I move out someday, it would not be for those reasons alone.

Wish me luck.

<3 :)