How Uncool is That?

One of the negative eye-opening things I experienced growing up was realizing I'm not cool.



No, seriously. I have always considered myself uncool. There was this time back in high school when my classmate from grade school told my high school friends, "Sam's friend were nerds back in grade school." I was like totally shocked at this revelation/backstabbing. Really, they were nerds? So that makes me a nerd too?

We're not the studious type of nerd, no. Asa naman. I think it was because we were a weird group. My friends were foreigners, and our lunch table was like the United Nations every single day. Pei was Taiwanese, Da Sol was Korean, and me, a Filipina. We spoke in broken English so that we could understand each other. We wrote too many letters even though we see each other everyday. And made up all those weird notebooks and group names (say hello go S.H.E. and G.A.L.S!) Never in my life did it cross my mind that we were not cool. Or maybe, never in my life did I consider it mattered.

I was uncool as a high school student. I realized this when I transferred to Rizal, where my high school was  status quo conscious and I never could have fit in. My first friend in third year high was... well... considered the most uncool girl of the batch, needless to say, because she was weird and allegedly a thief. I remember my friend from grade school saying, "Sam, stay away from her while it's not too late." And I was baffled, why?


I continued being uncool until I graduated, always in the shadow of my mother. Although, really, I never was. Haha. It's just that it was how they got to know me. It was always with my mom and I had no choice, so okay bear with it. You would have thought making it to the student council was cool, but it really was just a show. No amount of title could make anyone cool or uncool than they already are.

College was another story. If you say "church" a lot of people will find it weird. Or would likely get a response like, "Yung mga Jesus-jesus tapos kumakanta?" Offensive, but more on hilarious! Haha, yes. I frequented the Sunken Garden playing the sports I sucked at for fellowship activities, practicing songs for the worship services every week, doing Bible studies and sharing the gospel to strangers. A lot of people will find that weird, and until now, I do so too. Who would have thought I'd be doing this? My parents would never believe it. And some people would say, how uncool is that?

But when I look back now, I become thankful I did not lose my friends by considering them uncool. They gave me more loyalty than I have asked, and greater friendship than what I could have received. The standards of grade school, high school and college coolness will inevitably change as we grow up. And I'm glad I did not become short-sighted enough to trade people for my reputation.

We all find reasons to consider ourselves uncool. My current status of being uncool was not graduating with honors. Obviously, I feel so bitter about it and I will probably do so until I get my revenge AKA a comeback that proves that it may not really matter. But I am done proving people wrong. Let them find out for themselves because I'm not wasting my time working on changing their minds.

One of the best quiet times I've had was knowing that God was pleased. I imagined him saying "I'm proud of you" during my graduation even as I say, "Kahit wala akong honors?"

The answer was a 'yes'.

Here's to the uncool people with the best friends and the security about who they are. :)

9:40 AM •